Showing posts with label I'm With Stupid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I'm With Stupid. Show all posts

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Harder Than Chinese Arithmetic

So last night was yet another reminder of how big of a stubborn dumbass I am.

It's 8:30pm and Evan comes into the living room with tears of frustration welling in his eyes. He's been working on a make-up quiz for TWO HOURS. And he's still on problem one.

Evan's a pretty sharp kid (he took the SATs last month and scored in the 40th percentile of graduating seniors--what, what) and is in AP math. It's a quiz on similar triangles and all of the background info was covered when he was out of school due to the dreaded pig flu. But, he has a intuitive grasp of things, so his blind flailing into figuring this shit out was pretty much the same as mine. But he got stuck because he didn't know that proportions were the key to figure out the size of the bigger triangle.

Basically, here's the problem:

Triangle VTC ~ Triangle VWY



How big is line WY?

WTF? I don't think I EVER had math like this. The most advanced math class I had was high school geometry 20 years ago. Granted, I'm sure I was high the whole time, but I don't remember ever doing this type of shit. But, I do remember the Pythagorean Theorem (one of the few things college era THC & years of alcohol abuse haven't scrubbed from my dying brain, so here's how I attacked the problem.

1) If the two triangles are similar, then if I can figure out the size of the small one, I can back into the big one.

2) I have the length of two sides of a triangle. Using a2+b2=c2, I should be able to get the length of the third.

So I start my dumbassery with

(40*40)+(25*25)=(c*c)

1600+625=c2

C2=2,225

Squareroot of 2,225 is 41.169905, round that bitch down to 41.2.

OK. If these triangles are similar, than I can use what I have to figure out the rest. If I divide line VZ by the total length VY, that will give me it's proportion to the whole line! (38.4615%). Once I have that, I can divide line segment VT (47.2) by that figure to get the rest of line TW (75.39). Add those together and that's the hypotenuse of triangle VWY. I can THEN do the following:

a2+104 squared=122.6 squared.
a2+10,816=15,030.8
15030.8-10816=a2
4214.8=a2
get the square root and voila, the answer is that line segment WY is 64.9.


Yay, me...I'm so smart!

Yeah, right. Here's why I'm dumb:

It took 30 minutes to get to that solution. It aggravated the shit out of me because I wasn't feeling good about the process. It was TOO long and involved and the fractional answer was leaving a bad taste in my mouth (TWSS).

Google failed me when searching for hints on how to do this shit last night (but for some reason EVERY link I could find today was perfect), but I epic failed by not remembering that Evan could view his math book online.

I should have figured that there's a much simpler way to do this. There's no way the 7th grade math teacher would have them doing this if it required a calculator (which you'd need to get the square roots).

We move on to problem two, which is the old "You're 5 feet tall and have a 12 foot shadow. The flagpole's shadow is 32 feet tall. How tall is the flagpole" question.

Shit. We should have started there first, because once I googled that and took a look, we hit pay dirt. Pay dirt that takes literally 30 seconds to solve the problem.



Here's how using the first example:

1) Setup a ratio equation using the known numbers
40/104 (the length of VZ [your shadow] over the length of VY [the flagpole shadow]) is equal to 25/x (the length of TZ [your height] over WY [flagpole height]). From there, it's basic cross multiplication to get the answer.

40 25
--- = -----
104 x

40x=2600

40x = 2600
---- ------
40 40

x=65

Sigh.

So, if Google fails you and brings you here, that's how you do it. Here are some really good Math sites I found today (when Google decided to allow me the privilege of seeing them) that are even better. I'm sure the folks that wrote them aren't retards like me.

http://www.mathopenref.com/similartriangles.html
http://www.aaamath.com/rat-prop-crossx.htm




Be happy that I totally fucked that shit up, because it gave me a reason to actually post something to this wasteland of a blog. It's been over TEN fucking years since my first posting in my "online diary" back in the 20th century. My, how time flies. But even though it's 2010, the cars STILL don't. I want my money back, bitch.

Things are going great for me. I still dig my job. I just had my 14th anniversary with Laurie. Evan turns 13 in a couple of months (jesus) and Chloe just turned 9. Still live in the same house. Still drive the same automobile. I went to New Orleans a bajillion times last year. Went to FL for vacation. Went to Vegas in October. Was GOING to go to NY last month, but airfare skyrocketed and I couldn't afford it. I'm still bald and still fat.

Ha...now that we've moved on to me, I've lost interest in writing. How droll.

I'm sure I'll be posting more in the near future, as I'm about to embark on a historic nine trillionth diet at the beginning of February (once I get checked out by my ass loving doctor). It will be EPIC.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Buzzball

"At the heart of the Buzzball is a dual motor configuration, enabling the pilot to control the motion and direction of travel via left and right control triggers, which provides power to the driving wheels.

The amount of power applied to each wheel will determine the direction the Buzzball moves. Powering one wheel will spin the pod and pilot on it's axis around the inside of the ball changing the direction of travel. If power is applied equally to both wheels the pod will rear up as the wheels climb up the face of the ball forcing the ball to rotate around the pod and powering the Buzzball forward..."



Must. Have. Now.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

OMFG I Want This As A Shirt

After over a decade as a Republican, I'm ready for a change.

I HAVE to have this as a shirt.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Proliferation of Port

Wow, I can't below how fucking prolific TMKOASC and I have been with the movie titles. I can't believe that we're both grown men doing this type of shit.

Meat Beat Street
Goofellas
Irrational Pleasure
On The Twat or Cunt
Shaved Private Parts
The Pour Of The Hoses
College Ho Trip
Kneel of Creams
An Ass Rinse Of Alice
Silent Rimming
Cumming to America
The Cum Shootist
Licking & I
Greasy Rider
A Fisttool Of Hollers
The Porn Ultimatum
Taint Your Waggin
In the Cunt
The Bobber Of Seville
The Bank (and by Bank, I mean HAND) Job
Open Strange
Titty of Angels
The Tool Of Defile
Rocky's Whore Licked Aunt Flo
Romancing The Bone
The Ass Raping of Jesse James by the Pervert Robert Ford
The Cumslinger
It Came Up on a Real Tight Queer
The Jizz Flinger
The Lord of the Little Brown Rings
Cum Lola, Cum
Pretty In Pink...Volume 24
All Over Eve
Slow Rinse Of A Labia
Apollo's 11 Inches
Through The Tight Ring
The Hunt for Red Cock's Over
Sticky Member Semen
Uncle Fuck
The Tight Muff
V for Vagina
An American In Paris...Hilton
High Poon
A Fisting Full of Dollars
Attack Of The Bones
All About Summer's Eve
Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter Gave Me Head
Ball Street
Spooged
The Red Vag of Courage
My Giant Cock
My Left Nut
WatchmemasturbateMen
Cum Flew Over The Hooker's Breast
Dude, Where's My Cock?
All The President's Ten
The Mirror Has Two Faces...To Cum On
Goolander
The Whole Nine Inches
Double Dong Indemnity
Against All Bods
Poon Raider
Snappy Fillmore
The Cockman Prophecies
Batman And Robblen

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Firsties!

This is my new blog. Much like my old one, it probably won't be updated all that often.

If you're visiting from the old blog, you've seen the name TMKOASC many times before. For any new visitors , The Man Known Only As Sir Cumference is a douchebag that I became friends with back when I was working for the Deathstar. I've known OF him for about 14 years and been friends with him for about 10 years.

Over the past week or so, we've been appending all email traffic to/fro with porno versions of movies. Hopefully he's not cheating, but I'm just coming up with these off the top of my head. I'm haven't used any that I've heard of before (e.g. Buffy the Vampire Layer, Shaving Ryan's Privates, Forrest Hump).

For your reading pleasure, I present the fruit of the minds of two middle-aged men who's combined IQ is more than my weight (he's currently in Mensa; I was too, but quit paying my $56--who's the smarter one now, fucktard!)--[let's see if anyone catches the irony of that last sentence--I started laughing when I realized what I did].

Pippi Long-Cocking
Cheek & Dong's Nice Dream
The Jizz Singer
And Jism For All
The Apple Dumpling Gangbang
Anal Knowledge
I Cum In Peace
A Cockwork Oral
Pump Up the Volume of Semen in Her Mouth
Mr. Smith Goes Down on Mrs. Washington
Enema Mine
Pounding Miss Daisy
The Licker of Knobs
Honey, I Blew the Kids
Jack'n the Mean Stalk
Anal-ize This
Sperms of Endearment
Pee Wee's Big Tent Pitcher
Across The Lips Now
Bi-Hard
8 Heads in a Rough Old Hag
No Cuntry for Old Men
The Rear Hunter
Plump Friction
American Booty
Citizen Cock
All that Jizz
RammedBone
Midnight Plowboy
Robble Without a Cause